Random ‘Puppet Master’ Franchise Is Way Weirder Than We Remembered (17 items)

• 

  (#9) In 'Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich,' The Puppets Commit Hate Crimes

  The puppets have come full circle in this film, going from fighting against the forces of the SS to becoming card-carrying members themselves. This film is actually a Fangoria reboot that exists in a different universe than the Full Moon/Charles Band saga.

  These certainly are not the same puppets that viewers have come to know over the decades.
• 

  (#2) In 'Puppet Master,' Leech Woman Vomits A Leech Into Her Victim's Mouth

  Anyone the least bit familiar with the Puppet Master franchise will remember Leech Woman. How could you not? Here we have a beautiful woman puppet with the completely impractical but surprisingly lethal power to vomit leeches.

  Everything about this scene is weird. First of all, it starts out with a blindfolded, disrobed man strapped to a bed as a puppet starts to get frisky with him. Without warning, the puppet begins regurgitating leeches.

  The icing on the cake comes when one leech drops directly into his mouth. By the time he inexplicably succumbs to the leeches (in a remarkably short amount of time), the audience is out of disbelief and just accepts it. After all, nothing else here made a lick of sense.
• 

  (#12) 'Retro Puppet Master' Is Basically A Bedtime Story For Malevolent Puppets

  First of all, bookending the film with scenes of Andre Toulon en route to Switzerland is unnecessary, save to give Guy Rolfe some screen time. The Puppet Master timeline is confusing and contradictory enough already. Perhaps this can be overlooked because, let's be honest, Guy Rolfe is pretty awesome.

  More importantly, however, one wonders why the puppets need to be told bedtime stories to begin with. Here they are getting all cozy in some abandoned castle and curling up by the fire while Papa Toulon regales them with tales of his youth. Keep in mind, these are the same puppets who basically defeated the Third Reich. Somehow, the tone just doesn't seem to match up.
• 

  (#1) The Humanoid Dolls In 'Puppet Master II' Are Just Horrifying

  These things are pure nightmare fuel. The waxy plastic faces, the lifeless eyes, and the way their movement doesn't quite feel natural, all add up to make the life-sized humanoid dolls that appear at the end of Puppet Master II truly grotesque.

  Adding impact to this imagery is the knowledge that André Toulon's actual plan is to subject his one true love to an eternity living as this monstrosity. His plan basically goes like this: Step 1, collect organs; Step 2, make puppet life-giving juice; Step 3, transfer own soul from a reanimated body to a life-sized puppet monster; Step 4, slay the reincarnated love of my life and trap her soul in another horrifying life-sized puppet. 
• 

  (#15) In 'Puppet Master 5,' Torch Immolates A Man And He Falls Down An Elevator Shaft

  Sweet, lovable Torch really knows how to give an audience what they want. After an entire movie of corporate shill and all-around-tool Jennings (Ian Ogilvy) trying to take the puppets and sell them for ill-defined profit, Torch provides what is the most satisfying scene in the entire film.

  Not only does the puppet roast Jennings like a campfire marshmallow, but Jennings then falls down an elevator shaft to his ultimate and timely demise. There is also something to be said for watching a man beg a puppet for his life.
• 

  (#3) 'Puppet Master 4' Suddenly Brings Egyptian Demons Into The Mix

  The films go straight from fighting the forces of the SS in Puppet Master III to combating ancient Egyptian demons in Puppet Master 4. No further explanation is given, and perhaps that is for the best. Well, they did promise at the end of three that four would be about "Bad puppets gone good," and that is technically correct.

  Even more bizarre than the drastic change in premise is the appearance of the demons themselves. Here we have a lumpy skeleton in a cape bossing around three misshapen Jawas. The weird Jawas, in turn, possess "totems" (evil puppet monsters) that enter the human world to do all sorts of horrible things. André Toulon's collection of puppets - whom we've all come to know and love - must then fight these evil totems.

  Never mind the details. The bottom line is that the audience gets to watch puppets fight.

New Random Displays    Display All By Ranking