Random Hotel Staff Describe the Most Disgusting Guests (19 items)

• (#16) The Case of the Sticky Yellow Trident

  "I used to work part time as [hotel cleaning staff] (I'm a man, so not exactly a maid). Once, I found a sticky, yellow dildo with a smell that will suffocate your soul and scar you for life. It was shaped like a deformed Neptune's trident, with two big poles and a smaller pole, not even half the size of the first two... It was stuck under the mattress, leaving in the middle of it a little sickly green.

  So yeah, f*ck you, Neptune's wife."
• (#14) Aunt Flo Visits a Hotel

  "I walked in on a couple [hooking up] once. No biggie, right. Didn't scream, just blushed slightly, and beat a hasty retreat.

  They left the hotel at 1 pm, half an hour before my shift ended. I was in a rush to get the room done, so I could go home. I figured it wouldn't take me long.

  I was wrong. Two words for you: period sex.

  Let me add here that I'm not opposed to the idea... in principle. What I'm opposed to is cleaning up after someone else...

  They'd put down towels to save the sheets (thoughtful), but they used the hotel's towels. I had to throw them away in the end.

  The towel wasn't big enough though, obviously, since the sheets were blood-stained, too, including the comforter, which they'd hidden in the wardrobe. I kind of thought that a murder had occurred at this point, since there was blood everywhere, but the bin in the bathroom which was overflowing with used tampons confirmed my initial suspicions (they didn't bother to use the sanitary bags provided).

  Note to any ladies reading this: if sanitary bags are provided, USE THEM. It's a health hazard to just leave bloody tampons in a bin.

  Anyway, I didn't finish my shift until 2:30 pm. It was okay though, since I wasn't really in the mood for lunch anyway."
• (#18) When Booze and Curry Mix

  "I worked at a hostel for three months.

  One morning, we went into one of the rooms, and there was this funky smell. We looked around a bit, couldn't see anything, so we just got to making the beds. We went to straighten out a bundled-up duvet and what do we find? A huge stinking pile of booze-and-curry vomit which some d*ckhead had hidden in the duvet, so he could run away before we found out. We had to wash the whole damn mattress and everything.

  We left it outside to air, but the thing stunk for a week."
• (#9) Golf Resort Hosts Orgy

  "I worked for a small golf resort for several years, and this story still burns a hole in my brain every time I tell it.

  We have these small hotel rooms that contain two beds and a bathroom. I serviced it (fresh towels, etc.) for three days, and everything was normal. On check-out day, six men checked out. I had seen them meet up with their wives/girlfriends (who weren't staying with them) at the front desk as I was clocking in.

  I walk in to the unit after they left, and there was sh*t and blood smeared everywhere -the walls, the sheets, the shower, and even the TV. There were about 20 condoms laying out on the heater attached to the wall. As I was removing the sheets to throw them away, two butt plugs with condoms still on them flopped out on the floor, and one started vibrating. It had to be the most disturbing mess I had to clean up.

  When I notified the front desk manager, he refused to bill them for leaving such a huge mess to clean up saying, 'This is a place where people come to relax. If they want to let loose, then so be it.'

  I was so mad."
• (#3) Bachelor Party Destroys Room

  "A stag party (bachelor party) was staying in the hotel I work in, and they got ridiculously drunk one night before retiring to their rooms. The next day after they checked out, we went in to their room only to be greeted by the foulest smell I've ever experienced. Upon entering, we discovered that the two guys sharing one room had not only vomited, but had sh*t everywhere in this room. All over the beds, the floor, in the bin - some of it was even smeared on the walls.

  I can only imagine that they were so intoxicated that they lost all control of their bodily functions. No wonder they checked out so hastily.

  In conclusion, that room had to be completely refurbished - new beds, new carpet, new paint on the walls. It was weeks before it was usable again. Needless to say, the culprits were contacted and made to pay the cost of damages as they'd obviously tried to escape without blame."
• (#7) Guest Checks Out on Christmas Eve

  "My mom was a hotel general manager, and I basically grew up in hotels.

  The worst was a man who hung himself in the hotel room on Christmas Eve. He had driven through the night to see his kids for Christmas, and his ex wouldn't let him see them, so he went back to his hotel room and hung himself.

  My mom is still traumatized over finding his body. After that, she organized a party in the hotel lobby for every Christmas Eve and always invited all the guests to try to get people out of their rooms and to lift their spirits if they were spending Christmas in the hotel."

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