Tank Girl Goes On A Walkabout With Her Kangaroo Boyfriend
[ranking: 15]
Despite the fact she is one of only a handful of female comic book characters to get her own solo live-action movie, not very many people know about Tank Girl. Created by writer Alan Martin and artist Jamie Hewlett, Tank Girl is a British comic book set in a post-apocalyptic Australia that centers on the exploits of Rebecca Buck, who lives in a tank and works as a bounty hunter/troubleshooter for a shadowy organization before being branded an outlaw.
Besides drinking too much, Tank Girl's other vices include spitting, farting, nose-picking, cursing (her first words as a baby were "cauliflower penis"), and fornicating. Her main squeeze is Booga, a giant mutant kangaroo, which makes their relationship an "inter-species romance," AKA full-on bestiality. In fact, a post-coital scene of Tank Girl and Booga in bed appeared in the 1995 movie starring Lori Petty, but has been cut from all subsequent releases of the movie for being "too bestial." If you're curious, you can still see the scene on YouTube.
As Seen In: Tank Girl
Hulk's Rainbow-Hued Lovers Include His Cousin
[ranking: 3]
Everyone knows the Hulk, but when they think of him it's about his green skin, fits of rage, unlimited strength, and incredible healing factor. Most people don't know that he has also been gray-skinned, quite cerebral, and something of a horn dog over the years. Having a libido to match his muscles makes sense, considering he was created as a Mr. Hyde-esque examination of a runaway id in superhero form.
Hulk's alter-ego, Bruce Banner, had a long relationship with Betty Ross, whom he eventually married. When Betty (now estranged from Banner) develops superpowers and becomes the scarlet-hued Red She-Hulk, Hulk lets his freak flag fly. In Indestructible Hulk #7.1, Hulk gets drunk and winds up in a physical altercation with Red She-Hulk. Then, after they defeat the villain Orb together, they get naked and have sex right in front Orb!
That's still pretty pedestrian compared to what the Hulk gets up to with his cousin, Jennifer Walters, AKA She-Hulk. In 2000's Incredible Hulk Annual, the Hulk goes on a hormone-induced rampage through Central Park. Vision realizes that Hulk is smashing stuff to impress a suitable mate. When She-Hulk shows up to stop him, she gets the vibe right away and turns him down. His rampage ends, as does the story, but not Hulk's quest to knock boots with his cousin. In the now-classic Old Man Logan miniseries, Hulk and She-Hulk hook up and spawn a whole family of inbred, mutant Hulks.
Other sex-crazy versions of the Hulk include the Ultimate Universe Hulk, who keeps a harem of bikini-clad sex slaves in a hidden mountain palace. There's also the future world-conquering Hulk known as the Maestro, who has a harem containing both men and women on Battleworld.
More Hulk
#6 of 189 on The Top Marvel Comics Superheroes #98 of 3822 on The Best Movie Characters of All Time featuring All The Colors The Hulk Has Been (And Why) The Best Hulk Storylines in Comics
Comet The Creepy Super-Horse Tricks Supergirl Into Dating Him
[ranking: 14]
We can all agree that lying to someone about what you do for a living in order to trick them into dating you is pretty rotten. But tricking someone into thinking you're human so you can sleep with them (when you're really their pet)? That's not only creepy, but downright disgusting. Enter: Comet the Super-Horse.
The details of Comet becoming Supergirl's pet super-steed in Action Comics #292 are a bit too convoluted to get into here, but what matters is that Comet is not actually a horse at all, but a centaur named Biron, who was turned into a full horse by the evil Circe thousands of years ago. Using his telepathic ability, Comet explains his convoluted origin to Supergirl. Regardless, she goes right on wrapping her bare thighs across his back and riding off to adventure with her "pet."
While "owning" a pet that you know is really a half-human, half-animal hybrid is questionable behavior, Biron/Comet does Supergirl one worse by not telling her he also turns into a full human whenever a mystical comet passes by the Earth. In Action Comics #301, Biron/Comet becomes human and develops amnesia. He takes on the persona of rodeo star "Bronco" Bill Starr and starts a romance with Supergirl that continues even after his memory has returned.
More Comet
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The Cast Of 'The Boys' Is Full Of Deviants
[ranking: 10]
It's not surprising that DC Comics imprint Wildstorm greenlit Garth Ennis's The Boys, considering the long list of successful adult-oriented comic books like Hellblazer, Preacher, and Hitman. It's also not surprising that Wildstorm pulled the plug on the series after just six issues, because The Boys deconstructs and subverts superheroes in a harshly violent, sexually sadistic, and misogynistic manner.
The premise of the series, set between 2006 and 2008, is that superheroes have become corrupted by fame and are all pretty much egomaniacs with poor impulse control. Because of this, a CIA squad of superpowered agents called "the Boys" is tasked with monitoring their activities and keeping them in line, using extreme prejudice when necessary. The source of most superpowers in this universe is Compound V, which was created by the Nazis. There is also a low-powered version called Blue, which is Compound V mixed with cocaine. It gives a single-dose high, and is often used by prostitutes so that they can survive sex with superheroes.
Here are just a few examples of the sexual behavior in the series: The Butcher, the leader of the Boys, frequently engages in violent, domineering anal sex with Susan Rayner, head of the CIA; The Homelander, a schizophrenic Superman-Captain America analogue, commits rape and necrophilia against men, women, and children; Starlight, the newest recruit to the super-team The Seven, performs oral sex on all of the members to gain her membership on the team; Tek-Knight, a highly homophobic "hero," develops a tumor that compels him to have sex with anyone and anything. Pick it up if you're into that sort of thing.
The Pro Deflowers A Hero And Uses Her Powers On The 'Job'
[ranking: 5]
The Pro doesn't have the name recognition of Wolverine or Superman, but like those heroes she is a crazy sexual deviant (with a live-action movie). Originally published as a one-shot prestige format comic book by Image Comics, The Pro stars one of the most unlikely heroes ever: a single mother who works at a fast food restaurant by day and turns tricks as a prostitute at night.
In an effort to help humanity evolve more quickly so it can join the "glorious alliance of superior beings," an alien grants the Pro superpowers while she sleeps (he's also a total voyeuristic perv). After learning she has superpowers, the Pro is approached by a Justice League knock-off and offered membership. She reluctantly joins them on a mission to stop a team of super villains, but afterwards she returns to the street, where she dishes out punishment against a john who was abusing working girls and makes a stack of cash using her powers to perform fellatio a thousand times in one night.
When the squeaky clean Superman stand-in known as the Saint confronts her about her use of superpowers for "intimate activity," the Pro decides to show him what sex is all about and gives him an earth-shattering pleasure that causes his "release" to down an airliner. The heroes are disgusted with her behavior, but they still call on her to help stop a terrorist attack. The Pro agrees and sacrifices herself to fly the terrorist's nuclear bomb into space (10 years before Iron Man did the same thing in The Avengers).
Wolverine Puts The 'Dirty' In Dirty Old Man (Logan)
[ranking: 7]
As Seen In: Marvel Comics Presents, The New Avengers
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