Superman Loses His Virginity As A Kid To A Brainwashed Girl
[ranking: 6]
There's a messed up 1977 Superman tale: DC Super-Stars Giant #12, "Don't Call Me Superboy." In this crazy adventure, Kal-El's robot teacher from Krypton arrives on Earth and puts Clark through a series of tests. After one of Clark's classmates, Misty, learns of his identity, they sleep together. Shortly thereafter, however, she is killed by MARAUDING SASQUATCHES.
Clark is enraged, on the verge of killing one of the Bigfoots, but he stops because he does not kill. And that was the final test. The Kryptonian robot teacher appears to praise Kal-El for not killing and reveals that Misty was actually from a neighboring town; this robot took her and brainwashed her so he could manufacture this love affair with Clark. Misty wasn't actually killed, but she did unwittingly sleep with a man. Years later, Clark actually bumps into her on a plane, on which she's a flight attendant.
This story is often overlooked because it's assumed Clark was a virgin before Lois, but if this is canon, he most certainly was not.
Did Writer Warren Ellis Vicariously Sleep With Kitty Pryde?
[ranking: 10]
Pete Wisdom is an MI6 agent to whom Kitty Pryde of the X-Men loses her virginity. On the surface, there's nothing inherently wrong with this as Pryde is an adult, but it becomes murkier when the author of the story is considered.
As Cyriaque Lamar of i09 pointed out, Ellis has a history of creating characters in his image, like Spider Jerusalem, Elijah Snow, or William Gravel. "Wisdom is the archetypal, cigarette-chomping comic manifestation of Ellis' psyche," wrote Lamar. So if Kitty Pryde lost her virginity to Pete Wisdom, and Wisdom is a representation of Warren Ellis, then, according to the transitive property, Pryde lost her virginity to Ellis.
Archangel Deflowers A Teen In Front Of Her Mom
[ranking: 2]
Uncanny X-Men, indeed. Paige Guthrie, AKA Husk, loses her virginity at age 19 to Archangel, who is likely in his 30s at the time. Inexplicably, this deflowering takes place in the air as a group of X-Men (and Guthrie's mom!) look on in insufficient bemusement.
There's just so much wrong with this, especially the lighthearted nature in which it's depicted as if something like this is anything but horrific. In fact, it is one of many reasons Chuck Austen's run of Uncanny X-Men is not remembered fondly.
At A Young Age, Dick Grayson Is A Victim Of Corporate Sabotage
[ranking: 7]
In Nightwing #134, a character named Liu tries to weasel her way into Wayne Technologies to steal corporate secrets by seducing Dick Grayson, AKA Nightwing, when he's only 16.
Though we never learn her actual age, it's clear that she's much older.
Hal Jordan Sleeps With A Fellow, Younger Green Lantern
[ranking: 3]
Hal Jordan sleeps with a fellow Green Lantern named Arisia, an elf-like alien woman who doted over him for quite some time. That sounds fine, right? Well, when she was doing all that doting, she was actually a child - something comparable to a 14-year-old human (though she looked even younger) - and through her desire to be with Hal, she subconsciously used the power of her ring to age rapidly into a grown woman.
Hal took note of that and slept with her not long after.
Scarlet Witch And Quicksilver Partake In Forbidden Love
[ranking: 1]
That's right, Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver straight up "Lannistered" all over the place. But it gets even worse. In this storyline, there's a strong implication that Wolverine is their father, having slept with their mother around the same time Magneto did.
Well, during one of Wanda and Pietro's dalliances, a hairy man peeks through the bushes. That man may very well be the father of those twins. His peep show is a little much, but... at least he looks angry about it?
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