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  • (#14) Tried To Soothe The Pain With Honey And Vodka

    From anomalyk:

    "One of my patients had put Nair on his anus and left it on overnight. As one would think, when he woke up he had burns that looked like a pressure ulcer. Instead of coming to the ED right away he decide he would soothe the pain with honey. When that didn't work he tried to remove the honey using vodka.

    Teaching his roommate how to do those dressing changes was the most awkward experience I have ever had professionally."

  • (#15) Kids, Cobra Venom Won't Save You

    From nursejacqueline:

    "I'm a triage RN. I had a patient call concerning back pain. I was going about my normal assessment and asked if he had taken anything for the pain, to which he replies 'Cobra Venom.'

    Turns out, he had read about Cobroxin, a topical treatment for pain made from cobra venom, and decided it would be more effective to simply let a cobra bite him. I have no idea how he got hold of a cobra."

  • (#13) You Don't Ever Want To Do This With A Curling Iron

    From IntentionalMisnomer:

    "ER Tech here:

    A man came in with his wife because he had been bleeding from his bum. He thought that the best way was to self-anesthetize with alcohol, lubricate the area, and cauterize with a curling iron...

    He actually got it a fair way up before he pulled it out, judging by how much of his rectum turned into KFC. We had to remove about a foot of GI tract due to burnt, scarred tissue. The worst part was that didn't even stop the bleeding, which originated farther up the GI tract than the iron would ever reach.

    There is also the story about a champagne bottle popping off inside someone, but that's another story."

  • (#11) Self-Dentistry Gone Wrong

    From mdp300:

    "Dentist reporting in:

    I had a guy who had tried to pry his own tooth out with a screwdriver. It did not go well."

  • (#8) Ingesting Raw Meat Is Never A Good Treatment

    From ifergbot:

    "A patient comes in to the emergency department with an abscess. He tells us he knew he had an infection, and so ate a pound-and-a-half of raw steak to get the antibiotics that were given to the cow."

  • (#24) He Used Keyboard Cleaning Air As An Inhaler

    From madeinjapan89:

    "Nurse here. We had a younger patient who had run out of their inhaler and didn't want to tell their mom (after meeting her I could see why, she was just angry at the world) so he took keyboard cleaner Can-o-Air and tipped it upside down and inhaled.

    Turning it upside down releases the chemicals in an icy cold spray and it immediately caused this kid to go into a severe asthma attack and caused cold burns to the back of his throat. "

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