(#1) Leonard Part 6
- Jane Fonda, Bill Cosby, Tom Courtenay, Victoria Rowell, Moses Gunn, Joe Don Baker, Obba Babatunde, George Kirby, Grace Zabriskie, Gloria Foster, Leo Rossi, Larry Gates, Anna Thomson, Annabel Armour, John Hostetter, George Maguire, Hal Bokar, Clint Jung, William Hall, Keith Joe Dick, Leona Harris, Zoltan Gray, Darlene Barrett, Seamus Seanachaoi, Pat Colbert, Cab Covay, Rose Wong, Eric Hanes, Derry Porter, Chitti Sookvamdee, Alex Adams, Sarah Wagner, George Abrams Jr., Bruno Pella, Reggie Waldon, Harry Wong, David Maier, Ted Young, Gordon Kimbrough, Reed Kirk Rahlmann, Eugene Robinson, Eva Gholson, Derek Benton, Alan Liss, Ren Reynolds, Larry Alexander, Gianni Giacri, David Rowe, Katie McKelley
Bill Cosby starred in the spy spoof Leonard Part 6. Virtually everything about this production was misguided, from the blatant and distracting plugs for Coke to the confusing title. What rocket scientist thought it was wise to suggest it was the fifth sequel to a movie that doesn't exist?
Leonard Part 6 is so bad that Cosby himself disowned the picture, famously going on Larry King's CNN show and telling people not to go see it. The public listened to the star's advice, and has been following it ever since.
(#2) Condorman
- Oliver Reed, Barbara Carrera, Michael Crawford, Dana Elcar, James Hampton, Jean-Pierre Kalfon
Perhaps noting the success of 1978's Superman: The Movie and 1980's Superman II, Walt Disney Pictures, decades away from complete ownership of Marvel, took a crack at creating their own costumed hero. Their 1981 disaster Condorman stars Michael Crawford as a comic book artist who decides to become his signature creation. With his fancy - and ridiculously clumsy - condor suit, he helps a female KGB agent defect.
Thanks to stiff performances, a preposterous-looking costume, and special effects so unconvincing that they make you cringe, Condorman guaranteed it would become quickly forgotten, despite airing virtually every five minutes on HBO in the early '80s. Superheroes are supposed to be cool, not laughable. When you see the character flying despite barely flapping his wings, you can't help but laugh.
(#3) Revolution
- Al Pacino, Annie Lennox, Donald Sutherland, Nastassja Kinski, Robbie Coltrane, Joan Plowright, Graham Greene, Richard O'Brien, Steven Berkoff, Dave King, Sid Owen, Dexter Fletcher, John Wells, Frank Windsor
A great movie makes history come alive. A mediocre movie makes history seem dull. Revolution is the latter. On the surface, this 1985 film looked like a sure bet for the Oscars. Acting legend Al Pacino! Oscar-nominated Chariots of Fire director Hugh Hudson! Important historical subject matter!
In spite of an impressive pedigree, Revolution pales in comparison to dozens of other historical dramas. Even reading a high school textbook is more enthralling. And let's not forget Pacino's Brooklyn accent, which seems hilariously out of place in 1776.
(#4) The Garbage Pail Kids Movie
- Jim Cummings, Anthony Newley, Phil Fondacaro, Arturo Gil, Mackenzie Astin, Debbie Lee Carrington, Lynn Cartwright, Katie Barberi, Kevin Thompson, Bobby Bell, Susan Rossitto, Marjory Graue, Ron MacLachlan, J.P. Amateau, Larry Green
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie is based on a popular series of stickers that spoofed the Cabbage Patch Kids. A movie based on stickers? Has there ever been a flimsier inspiration for a feature-length film? ("Hold my beer," says The Emoji Movie.)
The Kids are designed to be gross and repugnant, which the film certainly follows up on. One has sores all over his face, one has a perpetually runny nose, and another repeatedly wets his pants. Hard to believe children were turned off by that, isn't it? Add in the creepy large-headed costumes, and you've got nightmare fuel for a month. Perhaps most perplexing of all is that the filmmakers hired Anthony Newley to star - because what child doesn't love that British singer and stage actor from the 1960s?
(#5) Mac and Me
- Jennifer Aniston, Nikki Cox, Danny Cooksey, Christine Ebersole, Andrew Divoff, Squire Fridell, Tina Caspary, Laura Waterbury, Jack Eiseman, Jonathan Ward, Ivan J. Rado, Lauren Stanley, Jade Calegory, Vinnie Torrente
It's bad enough that Mac and Me is a shameless ripoff of E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial. Like Steven Spielberg's classic, it's about a young boy who befriends a lost space alien looking to be reconnected with its family. What's worse, though, is that the movie is more or less a 90-minute commercial for Coca-Cola and McDonald's. Product placement is rampant. Everyone in the movie guzzles Coke. The teenage girl next door works at McDonald's. The alien is seen wearing a "McKids" t-shirt at one point. Then there's the mind-blowingly stupid scene in which a bunch of people break into an impromptu choreographed dance routine in the middle of a McDonald's.
The only way this picture could stoop lower would be if a McDonald's employee showed up at the home of anyone watching it to ask if they want fries with that.
(#6) Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
- Gene Hackman, Christopher Reeve, Jim Broadbent, Margot Kidder, Mariel Hemingway, Jon Cryer, Susannah York, Jackie Cooper, Sam Wanamaker, Marc McClure, William Hootkins, Robert Beatty, Mark Pillow, Don Fellows, Stanley Lebor, Damien McLawhorn
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace is what you get when filmmakers have big ideas and a tiny budget. Christopher Reeve returned for this fourth installment, which finds the Man of Steel fighting for disarmament, even addressing the United Nations at one point. He also fights a villain known as Nuclear Man. The intention was obviously to play on Cold War fears that were still prevalent in 1987.
Producers Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus famously slashed the budget, forcing director Sidney J. Furie to cut corners. That led to a look that could charitably be described as cheap. Slashing 45 minutes from his cut caused the story to be incoherent. Given how many good Superman movies there are, nobody ever has any reason to revisit this bargain basement production.
(#7) Best Defense
- Eddie Murphy, Dudley Moore, Kate Capshaw, Lillian Müller, David Paymer, Tom Noonan, David Rasche, Rick Dees, Matthew Laurance, Helen Shaver, George Dzundza, Joel Polis, Peter Michael Goetz, Tracey Ross, D. David Morin, Paul Eiding, William Marquez, Raye Birk, Jim Jansen, Christopher Maher, Billy Ray Sharkey, John Hostetter, Lorry Goldman, Ellen Crawford, Darryl Henriques, Mark Arnott, Dennis Redfield, Paul Comi, Hugo Stanger, Eugene Dynarski, Jake Dengel, Gary Bayer, Rozsika Halmos, Jerry Hyman, Gabi Amrani, Sanford Jensen, Tyler Tyhurst, Burton Collins, John A. Zee, Javier Grajeda, Charles David Richards, Jennifer Wallace, Eduardo Ricard, Stephen Bradley, Gerald Jann, Yitzhak Ne'eman, Bill Geisslinger, Pamela Stonebrook, Renny Temple, Diane Carter, Deborah Fallender, Elizabeth Reiko Kubota, Ronald Salley, Julie Ellis, Patricia Pivaar, Rob Wininger, Ziporah Tzabari, Michael Scalera, Chuck Street
Sandwiched in between Eddie Murphy's hits Trading Places and Beverly Hills Cop was his first dud. Audiences watched Best Defense expecting another Murphy laugh-fest, only to discover that he has just a small supporting role as a tank commander.
What they got instead was a Dudley Moore comedy about a military engineer working on a gyroscope for use in Army tanks. Could any subject be less ripe for comedy than that? Even Murphy himself would probably tell people not to bother with this utterly forgettable movie, which, like Moore's gyro, falls flat.
(#8) Staying Alive
- John Travolta, Sylvester Stallone, Janet Jones, Finola Hughes, Sarah Miles, Kurtwood Smith, Frank Stallone, Cynthia Rhodes, Joyce Hyser, Michael Higgins, Audrey K. Baranishyn, Julie Bovasso, Helen Kelly, Kevyn Morrow, Michelle Johnston, Norma Donaldson, Michael Rooney, Steve Inwood, Tony Munafo, Ben Lokey, Kate Wright, Viktor Manoel, Charles Ward, Gary Chapman, Jesse Doran, Dennis Daniels, Michael Mallory, Erica Jordan, Deborah Jenssen, Ross St. Phillip, Forrest Gardner, Derryl Yeager, Nanci L. Hammond, Smith Osbourne, Nanette Tarpey, Robert Martini, Randy Allaire, Patrick Brady, Helene Phillips, Peter Tramm, Frances Morgan, Karen Bryson, Paula Beyers, LaLanya Fair, Melita Brock-Warner, Rona Edwards, Jim Thompson, Lee Anne Loomis, Kathy Shippen, Carolyn Poppert, Valerie-Jean Miller, Trac DiPonzio, Rick Sullivant, Marvin Tunney, Mark Reina, Steve Bickford, Francine O'Neill, Polly O'Malley, Cindy Perlman, James Ko, Anita Morales, Rhonda Hairston, Bill Burns, David Chavez, Reggie O'Gwin, Reggie Leon, Daniel Lorenzo, Susan Olar, Karin Smith, Nell Alano, Rochelle G. Jones
Saturday Night Fever is one of the best films of the 1970s. Its sequel, Staying Alive, is one of the worst films of the 1980s. John Travolta is back as Tony Manero. He's moved off the disco floor and is trying to make it on the Broadway stage. That's a pure abandonment of the original, which was fundamentally about, you know, a guy who finds meaning in his life at a disco. Where Fever had a soundtrack of classic Bee Gees tunes like "How Deep Is Your Love," Staying Alive is stuck with their less-remembered songs, such as "The Woman in You."
Oddly, the movie was directed by Sylvester Stallone. Having an action star helm a film about dancing was ill-advised, but at least it gave us one of the all-time most bizarre directorial cameos, as Travolta inexplicably bumps into Stallone on a New York City street. Move over, Alfred Hitchcock!
(#9) Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend
- Sean Young, Patrick McGoohan, William Katt, Julian Fellowes, Edward Hardwicke, Hugh Quarshie, Julian Curry, Olu Jacobs, Eddie Tagoe, Thérèse Taba, Stephane Krora, Anthony Sarfoh, Susie Nottingham, Jeannot Banny, Kyalo Mativo, Alexis Meless, Roger Carlton
Paleontologist Susan Matthews-Loomis (Sean Young) and her husband George (William Katt) delve into the Central African jungle to discover a living brontosaurus in this mid-'80s stinker.
The uninspired adventure plot is unhelped by visual effects that not only are a far cry from Jurassic Park (released eight years later), but don't look great next to 1933's King Kong, either.
(#10) Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold
- Sharon Stone, James Earl Jones, Richard Chamberlain, Cassandra Peterson, Henry Silva, Robert Donner, Aileen Marson, Doghmi Larbi, Themsie Times, Alex Heyns, Fidelis Cheza, Martin Rabbett, Nic Lesley, Rory Kilalea, George Chiota, Stuart Goakes
Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold answers the question, "What if you tried to make an Indiana Jones movie on a miniscule budget?" Long story short, you'd end up with a lame movie. This action-adventure - based on the 19th-century adventure tales written by H. Rider Haggard - is best remembered (to the extent that it's remembered at all) for giving Sharon Stone an early pre-Basic Instinct role.
There's an oft-repeated Hollywood rumor that Stone was so disliked by the crew that they relieved themselves in the tub right before she did a bathing scene. You may have heard that before. Can you tell us anything else about the movie? Nope? Didn't think so.
(#11) Supergirl
- Faye Dunaway, Peter O'Toole, Mia Farrow, Helen Slater, Peter Cook, Brenda Vaccaro, Hart Bochner, Marc McClure, Simon Ward, Maureen Teefy
Long before Melissa Benoist rose to fame playing the title character on TV's Supergirl, Helen Slater played the heroine on the big screen. After the success of the first two Christopher Reeve Superman pictures, a related movie focusing on the Man of Steel's cousin seemed like a no-brainer.
Savage reviews frightened audiences away, leading to an embarrassing $14 million gross - less than half its budget. Was the world just not ready for a female-led comic book movie in 1984? Was Supergirl secretly ahead of its time? No, it's just a dopey flick with cheesy effects and a disjointed story. No sane fan of the character would choose to watch this outdated relic over the TV show.
(#12) Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins
- Anthony Hopkins, Kate Mulgrew, Wilford Brimley, Joel Grey, George Coe, Fred Ward, Patrick Kilpatrick, Michael Pataki, Charles Cioffi, Cosie Costa, J. A. Preston
Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins stars Fred Ward as a New York City cop who is recruited to become an assassin for a covert government agency. Trained by martial arts master Chiun (portrayed, in lamentable yellowface, by Oscar-winning actor Joel Grey), Remo embarks on a mission to foil a nefarious arms manufacturer with ties to the United States military. As the subtitle suggests, Remo Williams was intended to kick off a major action franchise - something that could rival the James Bond series. It even had its own theme song called "Remo's Theme (What If?)," performed by Tommy Shaw of Styx.
Audiences didn't want a new Bond, though, and the movie fizzled with just $14 million at the North American box office. All sequel plans were immediately scrapped. Not even endless cable airings could rescue Remo from the ash heap of '80s cinema history.
(#13) Young Einstein
- Mikey Robins, John Howard, David Ngoombujarra, Esben Storm, Georgie Parker, Elliott Reid, Christian Manon, Roger Ward, Yahoo Serious, Max Meldrum, Warren Coleman, Basil Clarke, Jonathan Coleman, Lulu Pinkus, Philippa Baker, Kaarin Fairfax, Su Cruickshank, Steve Abbott, Tim Elliott, Wendy De Waal, David Roach, Peewee Wilson, Ollie Hall, Odile Le Clezio, Terry Pead, Tony Harvey, Johnny McCall, John Even Hughes, Alice Pead, Michael Lake, Colin Gibson, Glenn Butcher, P.J. Voeten, Michael Matou, Adam Bowen, Ian 'Dano' Rogerson, Keith Heygate, Nick Conroy, Hugh Wayland, Shannen De Villermont, Aku Kadogo, Megan Shapcott, Wick Wilson, Michael Shirley, Russell Cheek, Zanzi Mann, Tim McKew, Ray Fogo, Frank McDonald, Rose Jackson, Conky Heygate, Pepper Soudakoff, Warwick Irwin, Margot Ross, Inge Burke, Ian James Tait, Ray Winslade, Martin Raphael, Peter Zakrzewski, Geoff Aldridge, Madeleine Ross, Sally Zakrzewski, Mark Bell, Michael Blaxland
After North American audiences flipped for the blockbuster Australian comedy Crocodile Dundee, another comedy sensation from Down Under hit our shores, anticipating the same kind of success. Instead, Young Einstein crashed and burned.
Why didn't it make much of an impact here? Maybe people were turned off by its oddly named star, Yahoo Serious, and his crazy hair. Maybe it was that they didn't want a comedic - and absurdly fictionalized - take on Albert Einstein that finds him growing up in Australia and creating rock and roll. Or maybe it was because, like vegemite, it's one of those Aussie creations whose appeal just will not be exported.
(#14) Masters of the Universe
- Courteney Cox, Dolph Lundren, Frank Langella, Billy Barty, Meg Foster, Christina Pickles, Robert Duncan McNeill, James Tolkan, Chelsea Field, Jon Cypher, Anthony De Longis, Gwynne Gilford
Masters of the Universe toys were huge in the '80s, as was the after-school animated TV series. So what went wrong with the movie? He-Man and Skeletor did battle on the big screen, but the technology of the era wasn't good enough to recreate the epic atmosphere that fans were expecting.
The special effects and makeup work are somewhat less than convincing. Whatever you imagined when playing with the action figures as a kid is doubtlessly way more exciting than anything that happens here, even if your made-up adventures didn't feature Dolph Lundgren, Frank Langella, and Courteney Cox.
(#15) The Toy
- Richard Pryor, Jackie Gleason, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Alex Hyde-White, Scott Schwartz, Stocker Fontelieu, Louis Herthum, Virginia Capers, Tony Burton, Paul Tuerpe, Teresa Ganzel, Don Hood, Steve Kahan, Harold Herthum, Tody Bernard, B.J. Hopper, Stuart Baker-Bergen, Bill Holliday, Davis Hotard, James Roddy, Ray Spruell, Valerian Smith, Malik Farrakhan, Orwin C. Harvey, Robert M. Stevens, Annazette Chase, Robert Neilson, Charles Detraz, Sally Birdsong, Robert Earle, Robert Adams, Marilyn Gleason, Elbert Andre Patrick, Lewis Baker, Karen Leslie-Lyttle, Annie McGuire, Santos Swing, Delana Renay Cole, Robert Costley, Jim Beyer, George Howard, Juan Coleman, Lucy Campbell Rowland, Bob Cherry, Linda McCann, La Monica Matthews, Louis Weinberg, Pauline Barcelona, Dawnis Kaye Smith, Helen Howard, Debra Cole, Jon Ralph Wilson, Tot Beyer, Beverly Tagge, Mark Bennett, Willie Swing, Bruce Langley, Jim Clancy, J.D. Martin
The Toy is a movie that makes you ask, "Exactly how prejudiced were people in 1982?" In this politically incorrect comedy, Jackie Gleason plays a millionaire who hires an African American man (Richard Pryor) to be his bratty young son's plaything. Not his playmate - his play thing. From there, the audience is supposed to laugh as the kid torments Pryor in various ways, including firing at his face with a rubber dart blaster and dumping oatmeal on his head.
Why anyone thought it was okay to make a family film in which children are asked to giggle at white people making a Black man's life miserable is one of the great cinematic mysteries of all time.
(#16) Howard the Duck
- Tim Robbins, Jeffrey Jones, Lea Thompson, Mel Blanc, Thomas Dolby, David Paymer, Holly Robinson Peete, Paul Guilfoyle, Richard Kiley, Miguel Sandoval, Richard Edson, Jordan Prentice, Liz Sagal, Chip Zien, Virginia Capers, Debbie Lee Carrington, Ed Gale, Richard McGonagle, Monty Hoffman, Nancy Fish, Miles Chapin, John Fleck, Kristopher Logan, Tommy Swerdlow, Paul Comi, Timothy M. Rose, Garry Littlejohn, Sheldon Feldner, Peter Baird, William Hall, Steven Kravitz, James Olea, Denny Delk, Wanda McCaddon, Dominique Davalos, Lisa Sturz, Lee Anthony, Wood Moy, Tom Rayhall, Mary Wells, Steve Sleap, C. Andrew Nelson, James Lashly, Ed Holmes, Martin Ganapoler, Anne Tofflemire, James Brady, Ted Kurtz, Carol McElheney, Jorli McLain, Maureen Coyne, Reed Kirk Rahlmann, Tom Parker, William McCoy, Marcia Banks, Lol Levy, Jeanne Lauren
Howard the Duck was the very first Marvel movie to be released theatrically. Fortunately, and perhaps miraculously, it wasn't the last. It's hard to say what's most off-putting about this bizarre film. Is it the endless bird-related puns? The weird costume actor Ed Gale is forced to wear? The creepy suggestion that Lea Thompson is falling in love with a duck?
Actually, it's all of the above. Howard the Duck may have been aimed at kids, but even they realized there's something fundamentally disturbing about the movie's content.
(#17) Little Monsters
- Fred Savage, Howie Mandel, Ben Savage, Daniel Stern, Frank Whaley, Rick Ducommun, Devin Ratray, Margaret Whitton, Amber Barretto, J. Michael Hunter, Tom Hull, William Murray Weiss
Admit it - you'd forgotten all about Little Monsters before you saw the title on this list - didn't you? That's all right - it would be hard not to forget this goofy Fred Savage/Howie Mandel comedy about a kid who befriends the monster living under his bed.
It was made for a company called Vestron that went bankrupt, so United Artists picked it up. Perhaps not knowing what to do with another distributor's leftovers, UA dumped Little Monsters into fewer than 200 theaters, where, according to Box Office Mojo, it grossed a pathetic $793,775. Between that and the movie's shockingly kid-unfriendly content, it's easy to understand why the movie failed to leave much of a cultural footprint.
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Many people still remember iconic '80s movies such as The Breakfast Club, Top Gun, and Back to the Future. With wild plots, cheesy special effects, and super fascinating lines, the movies of the 80s are the most interesting movies of all time. Let us take a trip along the road of memory of fluffy hair and bigger shoulder pads.
In fact, there are many 80s movies that have not stood the test of time, some were so bad at that time, they end up being good. The random tool lists 17 movies of the 1980s that most people forgot.
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