Random Most Memorable 'Road House' Quotes (15 items)

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  (#14)  Follow Three Simple Rules

  Dalton: People who want to have a good time won't come to a slaughterhouse, and we've got entirely too many troublemakers here... Too many uhh, 40 year old adolescents, felons, power drinkers, and trustees of modern chemistry... It's going to change.

  Hank: Yeah, that sure sounds great... but a lot of the guys who come in here we can't handle one-on-one, even two-on-one.

  Dalton: Don't worry about it; all you have to do is follow three simple rules: One, never underestimate your opponent... expect the unexpected; Two, take it outside, never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three... be nice.

  Hank: [Incredulously] Come on!!

  Dalton: If somebody gets in your face and calls you a c*cksucker I want you to be nice.

  Hank: [With resignation] Ok.

  Dalton: Ask him to walk, be nice. If he won't walk, walk him, but be nice. If you can't walk him, one of the others will help you and you will both be nice. I want you to remember that it's the job, it's nothing personal.

  Steve: Being called a c*cksucker isn't personal?

  Dalton: No, it's two nouns combined to elicit a prescribed response.

  Steve: What if somebody calls my Mama a wh*re?

  Dalton: Is she?

  [Everyone snickers.]

  Dalton: I want you to be nice... until it's time... to not be nice

  Bouncer: So, uh, how are we supposed to know when that is?

  Dalton: You won't. I'll let you know. You are the bouncers, I am the cooler. All you have to do is watch my back and each others... and take out the trash!
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  (#9) In Prison

  Jimmy: I used to f*ck guys like you in prison.
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  (#6)  Havin' Trouble

  Wade: [On the phone] You havin' trouble?

  Dalton: Oh, you know — nothing I'm not used to. But it's amazing what you can get used to, huh

  Wade: Yeah, tell me about it. This place has a sign hangin' over the urinal that says, "Don't eat the big white mint."
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  (#8) Married To An Ugly Woman

  Red: How long are you gonna be in town?

  Dalton: Not very long.

  Red: That's what I said 25 years ago.

  Dalton: Really? What happened?

  Red: I got married to an ugly woman. Don't ever do that. It just takes the energy right out of you. She left me, though. Found somebody even uglier than she was. That's life. Who can explain it?
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  (#7)  It Ain't The Money 

  Emmett: It ain't the money ya understand, but if I don't charge ya somethin' the Presbyterians around here are likely to pray for my ruination. How does a hundred dollars a month strike ya?

  Dalton: Fine.

  Emmett: Can ya afford that much?

  Dalton: If it keeps you in the good graces of the church.

  Emmett: Ain't it peculiar how money seems to do that very thing?
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  (#1) Pain

  Dalton: Pain don't hurt.

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