Random Crazy Facts About Britain Before Christianity (21 items)

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  (#19) The People of Britain Were Never Celtic

  The descriptor "Celtic" appears a lot in histories and cultural studies of Britain, and yet, as it turns out, Celtic is nothing more than a language family. The people of Britain were not any more Celtic than the people of Latin America are Spanish. In the 18th century, a theory arose among historians that a great Celtic, or Gaulic, invasion of Britain happened at some point in prehistoric times. It turns out this never happened. Instead, countless peoples migrated to Britain over a period of thousands of years, and some of those groups—those who spoke Celtic languages, for instance—happened to dominate others. 
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  (#9) A British Warrior Queen Slew 70,000 Romans

  Boudica was a British queen whose husband, Prasutagus, a regional British king, did all he could to cozy up to the Romans when they arrived. Unfortunately, that did nothing to protect his family and their people from Roman cruelty—when Prasugatos died, Roman centurions enslaved his relatives and pillaged his kingdom. When Boudica objected to this treatment, she and her daughters were raped. In response, Boudica drummed up an army of loyal Britons and lay siege to Roman areas. It's estimated she killed as many as 70,000 Romans and their allies before her army lost to a more organized Roman force and Boudica poisoned herself. 
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  (#4) The Oldest Human Remains In Britain Are of a Young Shaman Covered in Red Paint

  The Red Lady of Paviland (actually the remains of a young man covered in red ochre body paint, who was probably in his 20s when he died) are the oldest human remains yet found in Britain, at 34,000 years old. The Red Lady was buried along with various artifacts in a cave in Gower, Wales; the nature of the burial makes the site the oldest ceremonial burial ground in Western Europe.  No one is sure who the Red Lady was, but many speculate he may have been a shaman or mystic.
  
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  (#3) "The Wicker Man" Is Real

  Druids performed all manner of rituals in Britain, including, according to Roman sources, human sacrifice. One form of druidic human sacrifice entailed building a large, hollow man out of wicker, filling it with human tributes, and then lighting it on fire. Some scholars suggest Romans made up the part about the wicker man containing human sacrifices (seriously, wouldn't a giant structure made of wicker just collapse if filled with the weight of human bodies?) —the druids simply burned an effigy of a man as an offering to gods. 
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  (#16) The Story of Brave Caractacus

  Caractacus was a British prince at the time of the Roman invasion. When his father died, he became king, and took up armed resistance against the Romans. Despite vastly inferior numbers, the army of Caractacus managed successful guerilla warfare against the Romans in the rugged terrain of Wales and nearby western England for nine years before their king was captured. The Romans were so impressed by Caractacus's success and bravery he was taken to Rome, met the Emperor, and granted a pardon. 
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  (#13) The Painted Ones Saved Scotland

  Were it not for the Picts, war-like people of northern Britain, Scotland might not exist. Fierce warriors, the Picts were named "the painted ones" by the Romans on account of their war paint. On several occasions, the Picts defended Scotland from subjugation, first against the Romans, whose empire ended at the Scottish border, then against the Anglo-Saxons. Had the Picts not defeated the Anglo-Saxons at the Battle of Dunechtain, the Christian Anglo hoardes may have swept all the way to the northern tip of Britain, and turned the entire island into one country. 

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