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(#1) Captain America
- The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, Ultimate Avengers, Captain America, Ultimate Avengers 2, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Captain America, Captain America: The First Avenger, The Avengers, Captain America II: Death Too Soon, Captain America, 3 Dev Adam, Marvel Universe
Yes, Steve Rogers, AKA Captain America, is a babe, but he’s not exactly well-versed in the ways of wooing a sexual partner. He grew up as dweeb in an incredibly repressive culture, and he didn’t actually get hot until the government injected him with super soldier juice – so he didn’t get laid prior to the war.
During World War II he was too busy killing Nazis to have sex with Agent Peggy Carter. Then he was frozen, and once he was thawed out he immediately started fighting aliens and punching Tony Stark, all while not having sex with Agent Sharon Carter. Virginity, thy name is Steve Rogers.
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(#3) Gaston
- Disney's House of Mouse, Beauty and the Beast, Beauty and the Beast
Gaston spends all of Beauty and The Beast puffing out his chest and swinging around his ponytail while he talks about how virile he is. Throughout the story he has his eyes set on Belle, and rather than move on when she rebukes his advances he continues to flaunt his masculinity throughout their quaint French village. Not only is Gaston a total goon, but you can tell that he’s a virgin because he’s so thirsty for Belle to pay attention to him.
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(#6) David Wooderson
- Dazed and Confused
In Dazed and Confused, David Wooderson, played by Matthew McConaughey, is a major lothario – or so he wants people to think. The way Wooderson acts throughout the film, with his whole "I get older they stay the same age" thing, and his insistence on giving women weird nicknames, makes you wonder if he’s ever even kissed a girl.
It’s safe to say most alpha males who make a big deal about their sexual conquests have never actually done half of what they say they have. Wooderson is definitely guilty of this crime.
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(#11) J.R. MacReady
- The Thing
The hero of The Thing, played by Kurt Russell, is an ace helicopter pilot who can fly through any snow storm, drink whiskey like it’s water, and handle most alien invasions. Presumably MacReady could work anywhere, but he ended up in a research station exclusively populated by grizzled dudes and melting dog-Things.
Either MacReady has such terrible people skills that his only option for work is to go to Antarctica, or he dislikes people so much that he chose to work in Antarctica. Either way, that’s proof that MacReady has never so much as held hands with a prospective lover.
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(#15) King Leonidas
- Meet the Spartans, 300, The 300 Spartans
A man who spends this much time getting ripped, and even more time obsessing over killing other men, has definitely never had sex. Sure, Leonidas from 300 supposedly has a kid, but who's to say he isn't adopted?
If Leonidas had actually done it, he wouldn't be so eager to go on a suicide mission with 299 of his hottest friends. The focus and drive required to go to war against 30,000 warriors can only be attained by a virgin who has zero sexual desire.
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(#5) Daniel Plainview
- There Will Be Blood
There Will Be Blood’s Daniel Plainview may drink up your milkshake, but he’s never drank up anything else, you know? Not only is he a vile human being, but he’s completely obsessed with finding oil, making cold hard cash, and destroying his enemies. All three of those things are enough to fill one’s day, leaving zero time for the pursuit of sexual intercourse.
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Alpha males, meaning “older” males who are comfortable in a group and have it all under control. Researchers recently found that for Alpha males, extra stress may be one of the main reasons for their short lives. On the other hand, scientists have also found that stress contributes to the evolution of the brain and that Alpha males’ success is in part due to stress.
This random tool collates 15 items and introduces you to the impressive Alpha male in the film. They often a simple character, like to boast about their heroic deeds, but in fact, shallow thinking, not too bad-hearted.
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