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  • Daniel Plainview on Random Cinematic Alpha Males You Never Noticed Are Almost Certainly Virgins

    (#5) Daniel Plainview

    • There Will Be Blood

    There Will Be Blood’s Daniel Plainview may drink up your milkshake, but he’s never drank up anything else, you know? Not only is he a vile human being, but he’s completely obsessed with finding oil, making cold hard cash, and destroying his enemies. All three of those things are enough to fill one’s day, leaving zero time for the pursuit of sexual intercourse.

  • Douglas Quaid on Random Cinematic Alpha Males You Never Noticed Are Almost Certainly Virgins

    (#12) Douglas Quaid

    • Total Recall, Total Recall

    Total Recall follows Douglas Quaid (played by Arnold Schwarzenegger), a seemingly regular guy who goes on a memory implant vacation via the Rekall company. But then he remembers that he's actually a secret agent who's trying to save Mars.

    That’s if you’re take the film at face value. It also works if the entire film happens inside Quaid's head. It could all be the fantasy of an uptight construction worker who doesn’t know how to take a break, let alone get intimate. This totally explains why the movie is full of action hero garbage and women with too many breasts wearing super tight clothes. This is definitely a guy who’s never had sex.

  • Lt. Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky on Random Cinematic Alpha Males You Never Noticed Are Almost Certainly Virgins

    (#8) Lt. Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky

    • Top Gun

    Iceman, Tom Cruise’s antagonist in Top Gun, is an ace pilot who’s cool under pressure, hence the nickname. And even though he’s played by Val Kilmer in peak babe mode, he's probably a total virgin.

    Maverick knows how to schmooze the ladies, but he’s also a loose cannon who isn’t the best pilot in the Top Gun program. Iceman is, and the unfortunate truth of being the best in the world at something is that you have to spend your every waking moment practicing said thing. Iceman has no time for love.

  • John Rambo on Random Cinematic Alpha Males You Never Noticed Are Almost Certainly Virgins

    (#7) John Rambo

    • Rambo III, Meet the Spartans, First Blood, Cameraman: The Life and Work of Jack Cardiff, Rambo, Ultimate Fights, Rambo: First Blood Part II

    Can you even imagine Rambo having sex? By the time he returns from Vietnam to hitchhike his way across America, he’s so wracked with PTSD that he can barely even speak. The moment he feels remotely threatened his first thought is to go to war with an entire town. If he’d ever had sex in his life he would probably be a little more relaxed.

    As much as his dour demeanor likely comes from the horrors he’s seen in war, there’s no way that Rambo was a happy-go-lucky lady’s man before Vietnam.

  • David Wooderson on Random Cinematic Alpha Males You Never Noticed Are Almost Certainly Virgins

    (#6) David Wooderson

    • Dazed and Confused

    In Dazed and Confused, David Wooderson, played by Matthew McConaughey, is a major lothario – or so he wants people to think. The way Wooderson acts throughout the film, with his whole "I get older they stay the same age" thing, and his insistence on giving women weird nicknames, makes you wonder if he’s ever even kissed a girl.

    It’s safe to say most alpha males who make a big deal about their sexual conquests have never actually done half of what they say they have. Wooderson is definitely guilty of this crime.

  • Bruce Wayne on Random Cinematic Alpha Males You Never Noticed Are Almost Certainly Virgins

    (#13) Bruce Wayne

    • Justice League, The Batman, Batman: Under the Red Hood, Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 2, Batman: Gotham Knight, Batman vs. Superman, Batman

    Bruce Wayne is the ultimate alpha male. He’s James Bond meets Bruce Lee dressed as a gothic monster. He seemingly never sleeps, he’s always solving crimes, and he’s in amazing shape – but to do all of those things, he’s definitely never had time to have sex. That whole "billionaire playboy" thing is definitely an act.

    When you think about it, Batman’s virginity is probably what powers his crime fighting abilities. If he were having any kind of sex he wouldn't be nearly as angry.

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About This Tool

Alpha males, meaning “older” males who are comfortable in a group and have it all under control. Researchers recently found that for Alpha males, extra stress may be one of the main reasons for their short lives. On the other hand, scientists have also found that stress contributes to the evolution of the brain and that Alpha males’ success is in part due to stress.

This random tool collates 15 items and introduces you to the impressive Alpha male in the film. They often a simple character, like to boast about their heroic deeds, but in fact, shallow thinking, not too bad-hearted.

Our data comes from Ranker, If you want to participate in the ranking of items displayed on this page, please click here.

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